Long night...

Be anxious of nothing.
Let your gentle spirit be made known to all men. The Lord is near.

I received a call during work today: "Your mother called 911 and is in the emergency care of the hospital." There are words to instantly transform a pleasant day into a nightmare. My dad was already heading towards the hospital, and didn't have much information, either. Fear is the mind killer.
How do you continue working knowing your mother is in the hospital, and not the reasons? Should I drive home? I'd have hit every city of traffic on the way; would have taken me nearly 5 hours. "No, no. I think everything will be fine. I'll call you in a few."

How impossible are those minutes. I was struggling through a difficult problem at work, and suddenly my problem-solving capability was obliterated.
There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.
Nothing made sense. It was the unknowing, and the terror that is worse in the mystery. I didn't know if it was severe or a tiny thing. How could I know?
Fear cuts deeper than swords.
Blood samples, hydration, scans, sterile-patience dragged out over an enemy of hours. And in the end? Only prayer and patience, hope and helplessness. The reminder of mortality is frightening, however  distant. I don't want the people I love to die, not yet. And if God takes them, I want to be there, speaking love into their ears and holding hands. I want to be in their eyes and they in mine as they go. In a brush with mortality, the wideness of the strokes is irrelevant.
A long night, and I am tired.